Really Naruto?
by DrunkDitz
Summary: It's movie night and Sai wants to watch a horror movie... who knew that Naruto could be such a girl not Sasuke that's for sure. Sasunaru.


**Really Naruto?**

**Summary: its movie night and Sai decides that he wants to see a horror movie . . . Who knew that Naruto could be such a girl, not Sasuke that's for sure. Sasunaru.**

**A/N: I really don't know how I got this idea. Though it was most likely boredom and something to keep me from updating my chapter fics like I should be doing . . . Well anyway this is a one-shot! Maybe a sequel if asked though I don't think one is needed . . . Enjoy and review people!**

**Warnings: Yaoi, kissing!**

**Disclaimer: "Rosy is still under the table after the whole' creepy man with a paralyze gun' fiasco . . . don't worry if your confused this was in another disclaimer well anyways I'll disclaim for her until she get's it through her head that I was JOKING that may be a while . . ."**

I f you boil it down you'll see that it was in fact all Sai's fault! Sai and his stupid obsession with horror! And it wasn't even the stupid horror with the beautiful blonde girl getting chased by a monster which was obviously a man in a suit no he was obsessed with the gore type of horror where just about everyone died and at the end the monster comes back and kills the remaining people. Yeah Sai is a sick bastard and it just so happens that tonight he got to choose the movie that they were forced to see-by order of Tsunade because apparently she had, had enough with dealing with team seven and so started movie night.

Naruto sat down on Sasuke's couch-because of all of them Sasuke was the richest and thus had better furniture and an awesome TV-and grumbled. He sat between Sasuke and one end of the couch, beside Sasuke sat Sai-evil bastard-and next to him sat Sakura. They had determined from day one that this was the best combination. Problems always ensued if they sat any other way. If Sakura sat near Sasuke she went all fan-girl which made Sasuke prissy and Sasuke beat Naruto when he felt prissy. Sai was a pervert and thus was never allowed to sit near Naruto because he would molest him-only Naruto because molesting either Sasuke or Sakura was suicide-and that would make Naruto screech through what ever they were watching which made both Sasuke and Sakura prissy. Sakura refused to sit next to Naruto because she claimed that it made him get 'ideas' and so the sitting arrangements were set.

Now that they had come to terms with the sitting arrangements they could actually get threw a whole movie. Their choice of genres were completely different from each other, Naruto loved humor Sasuke was the suspense/mystery type-which confused Naruto to no end-Sai's taste kept changing though currently it was horror. . . no GORE and Sakura was the romance type-go figure. Tonight was Sai's turn-they went in order starting from Naruto to stop conflict-and Naruto was grumpy. Naruto HATED horror with all his being and tonight he was forced to watch one. Before this Sai had been addicted to cow boy movies and that had been fine by Naruto, some had even been funny. Though Sai was fickle-and a bastard-and so today was horror. Naruto suppressed the shudder that begged to be released, Naruto hadn't seen a horror movie for a very long time and the last-and only time-he had watch horror . . . well let's just say it hadn't gone well.

Naruto grumbled again as Sai squatted down and put in the new Horror movie Purple Marks and sat back down and of course to add to the we're-so-going-to-die feel he turned off the lights via ink minions. So here was Naruto, sitting in near complete darkness, thigh to thigh with one Sasuke-bastard about to watch one of Sai-devil-horror movies . . . wasn't life just peachy.

Naruto tried to not look at the screen as the movie started and he failed.

_The sky was hued a tranquil aquamarine, only the sounds of snow crunching under the booted feet of a young blonde haired girl could be heard for blocks around in all directions. Her cheeks tinted pink in exertion as she heaved yet another shovel of non fluffy snow over her head. Her gaudy red pick up truck still sunk in snow and even though she had waken up two hours ago-before even the sky decided to stumble awake-to dig out her truck because she knew that the snow would not be light and fluffy as the weather man had said it would be. She knew as always had weather it would snow hard or rain rivers._

_"It's times like these that I really wish I had somebody, anybody to do this crap with me!" She wipes a gloved hand over her forehead and forces the shovel back into the icy ground. "Living alone sucks."_

_A good hour later and she has finally shoved enough snow for her truck to move from its once trapped position. Dropping the shovel on the ground-with no intention of picking it up and placing it in its proper place she curls her frozen fingers and winces as pain flies throw her hand. _

_"Damn today's going to be shit." She says as she grippes the door-flinching at another spear of pain rips throw her fingers-and pulls the frozen piece of metal open and climbs up, ineloquently-due to the bulk of her neon blue knee length coat-and slips into the drivers seat. She slams the door and after three tries successfully drives her truck out of the drive way. The snow on the street isn't as bad as she imagines, though bad enough that the drive felt like forever._

_"Shit thank whatever being that resides up there in the sky that there isn't any school today, if I had skipped again Corsley would have had my ass, stupid strict old mummy . . ."_

_BRINNNNGGGG! BRINNNNGGGG! BRINNNNGGGG!_

_She released a slight curse as the abrupt sound of her cell rocked the previously silent-besides her talking-vehicle. She stuck her hand in her bag that she had plopped down beside her and began rummaging through it for the annoyingly loud thing. Her face breaks into a slightly triumphant smirk as her hand feels over the vibrating object, ripping it out she flips it open and answers with a rude. "This better as hell not be for some annoying shit."_

_". . . You're so sweet in the morning Suz." A male voice springing with a fake feminine chime._

_"Fuck, I said that this better not be annoying shit Caliber and last time I checked your whole existence is annoying shit." She answers smoothly._

_"Suzy why are you so prissy? You know what don't answer that; just tell me how close you are." Caliber asked perkily._

_"About a ten or so minutes. . . Is the target in position or not?" Suzy asks blandly._

_"Straight to business I see . . . hmmm by the looks of it yes, Core lily has him in her sights." Caliber answers._

_"Core lily, Caliber who came up with your shit-face names?" Suzy asks easily._

_"Ask Triniber he's the eldest maybe he can remember that far back. . . "Caliber replies lazily._

_"Stupid vamps." Suzy mutters._

_"We're not 'vamps' dearest Suzan we are Dlakins and as much as I know you hate to be reminded this you are one too you know." Caliber says in a sing-song voice._

_"Vamps, monsters, Dlakins they are all the same shit. You terrorize humans hold them down and rip the tender flesh (Naruto flinches) from their poor venerable throats. Oh and as you oh so kindly put it Cal I am not one of you beasts yet. The marks haven't spread that far, I still got my sanity."_

Naruto is trying really, really hard to forget that he just heard the 'ripping flesh from throat' part. His neck is itching and his spine is ram rod straight. Naruto vaguely wonders if Sasuke has noticed the reaction in his body since they're pressed so close and all. Of course the bastard noticed.

"Dobe you scared already it's not even the scary part yet." Sasuke says suddenly making Naruto flinch very violently.

The TV pauses.

"Dickless perhaps you should go wander the house or something if you are so utterly terrified, this is the mundane part of the movie." Sai says leaning slightly over Sasuke the remote in his hand. "Or... you could come and sit on my lap... I'll protect you."

"No way in hell Sai!" Naruto shouted as he turned pink. "Just press play, I'm NOT scared." he grumbles.

A poof and then Sakura is beside him she grabs the back of his jacket and whispers creepily.

"Tasty. . . "

"AIEEEEEEEEE!" Naruto screeched - in a very girly and high pitched fashion - as he grabs onto Sasuke and climbs onto his lap, burying his face in Sasuke's shirt, shivering.

Silence...

"Dobe..." Sasuke growled through clenched teeth. "Get off of me!"

It was then that Naruto realized exactly who he was clinging to and he jumped off, face red, stumbling slightly.

"Awww Naruto!" Sai whined. "You were suppose to climb on my lap not emo-boys'!"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "I am not Emo, freak."

Sai ignored him he looked at Naruto and gestured to his lap. He purred sensually. "Come here Naruto, I won't throw you off like emo - boy, I know how to appreciate a beautiful blonde in my lap."

"No way!" Naruto shouted, his face turning redder.

"But you sat on Sasuke's lap willingly! It's not fair!" Sai whined as he crossed his arms.

"I was not willing!" Naruto argued.

Sasuke snorted.

Naruto whirled to face him. "What does that mean bastard?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sakura grumbled as she rolled her eyes. "After all you jumped on him and were clinging rather tightly."

"S-shut up!" Naruto shouted, red faced he fled the room.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed, feeling resigned he stood up. "You two start the movie I'll get the idiot."

Sasuke without another glance left the room. Sasuke found Naruto sitting cross-legged in his bathroom, glaring at the wall. Sasuke rolled his eyes and squatted next to him.

"Do you make a habit out of glaring at walls in other people's bathrooms?"

"Kyaaaaaaaaaa!" Naruto screamed as he scrambled away from Sasuke. Seeing that it was Sasuke and not a crazy vampire he sat up and glared. "Don't do that idiot!"

Sasuke raised an eye brow. "Says the one who ran away like a little kid, from the mundane part of a horror movie."

"Shut up!" Naruto growled, blushing.

Sasuke sighed and walked over to Naruto; he sat next to him and gazed at him with his black hole eyes. "Why did you run away? It wasn't even scary yet."

Naruto looked at him, and then down at the floor, his voice pitched into a whisper. "I-I don't like horror movies. When kids watch them and they get nightmares there's always somebody there to wake them up but... I-I never had anybody there for me..."

"What if... I wake you up from your nightmares?" Sasuke asked softly against Naruto's neck, Sasuke's hot breath made him shiver.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto stuttered out, a moan leaving his lips as Sasuke kissed his exposed neck. "W-what are you doing?"

Sasuke pushed him down, so that he lay on his back. Sasuke moved between his spread thighs, he leaned down so that his lips were just a breath away from Naruto's. "Let's just say, that I wasn't really unwilling when I had you on my lap..."

Sasuke captured Naruto's lips enticing a moan out of the younger boy. Sasuke took advantage and plunged his tongue in, once there he set upon claiming every nook and cranny of Naruto's mouth before battling his tongue for dominance, a battle he easily won.

Sasuke's hand unzipped Naruto's jacket and slipped beneath his shirt, Naruto gasped and Sasuke broke the kiss. "Will you let me Naruto? Will you let be the one to protect you?"

"Y-yes!" Naruto gasped out as he pulled Sasuke in, connecting their lips again.

Needless to say neither of them returned to watch the movie and Sai learned that molesting Sakura was indeed suicidal...

**A/N: Sooooooooo? What do you think? Is it cute? Funny? Utterly terrible and I should just delete it? Tell me tell me! Review please! **


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